Massive up, big down. Podcasts

Profit: $30

Again, I haven't played much in the way of poker because I've just got so wrapped up doing the podcasts for Raise the River. I've always been a creative person and learning about podcast production has reignited my creative juices (ow er!) after a barren couple of months. Links are on the right hand side if you want to listen to them and get involved in raise the river, it's a fab british poker community.

Ok, so the poker I did play was going brilliantly. I don't think I was doing anything special to be honest. I must have been on a heater because, though a lack of match fitness (if you can call it that) I was just playing tight, passive poker until I made my hands. Grinding basically.

I did take the advice of some people at RTR who suggested I take a shot and I did... at the .10c/.20c . I didn't really do much until I got AA and went all in preflop. Someone had KK. That always helps. I don't quite know how I did it but I made about $60 in four sessions of easy poker.

But then, sadly, I had this hand.

http://www.pokerhand.org/?2235903

You know, I would have taken the split pot fine. But it's just shattering to have this kind of hand happen to wipe out half of the profits I'd made over the last couple of sessions. The manner of the beat is bad, but it's more the situation that grates (and it usually is with me). It was in the higher stakes table (I had two lower ones on the go), I was going to quit before but the action was so juicey in the tables that I felt I could hit a monster and get paid off, I had the nuts but was drawing dead.

At the time I was a bit "meh" what you gunna do? But I haven't played since and I'm left asking myself these same stupid questions again. Why am I playing poker? I seem unable to get beyond the gambling aspect of the game. My bankroll is too important and I am too results orinatated.

You know what I probably need - and this isn't a request for staking, it's just what I think about my poker mindset - I probably need to play with someone else's money. I need to develop a disregard for money. I need maybe $200 to four table on .25/.50 and play what's in my head, not what the figures say on the screen.

To be honest, I probably need to go poker broke so I can have that experience of it. It wouldn't be the end of the world, I would just start again if I wanted to.

Now I'm rambling.

Bleh. I've made a profit since my last post, my roll is healthy and I'm a winning play yet I'm far from happy with my poker game. I'm obviously a spoilt, little poker brat. The URL confirms that.